Sunday, October 24, 2010


Hello Son,

Gonna skip Call 33 and 34 for the time being and write that later. Mom wants to tell You what happened yesterday (Saturday). 

In the morning, Mom received an email from Aunty L from Lourdes. She couldn't access the email because of weak internet connection so she left to read it later. 

Anyway, that evening, Mom and Justine were supposed to go for Sunset Mass. We had arrived at the church already, when Jus said she was tired. She had just finished a seminar and she wanted to go home to rest, and go for mass on Sunday instead. So, we drove back home. 

Reaching the condo, something made Mom tell Jus, "You rest in the house, I'll go to church." 

It's quite unlike Mom to do that. Why couldn't she just go on Sunday? She had just driven back from church, and now she's going again??? What's the urgency, You may wonder. 

So Mom dropped Justine at the condo, and drove all the way back to church again. She didn't at that point know why she HAD to attend, and wasn't expecting anything anyway.

Saw Aunty Carol and Grandma on the row on the right, about 10 bench-pews away from the altar. Went to sit beside Aunty C. When the Opening Hymn started, her jaw dropped. 

Mom felt your presence immediately.

That is Aunty L's favorite song. 

The few times that Mom over-heard her singing in Lourdes, in the kitchen, or humming to herself, Aunty L was worshipping God with THIS hymn. 

More importantly, THIS is the song she sang in the car, after she and Mom said the rosary, as we followed closely behind the ambulance that transferred You from Lourdes Hospital to Pao Hospital to see the neuro-specialist. Dad was in the ambulance with You then. It was a very frightening time, and we had sang the song to remind ourselves how great our GOD is.

It was a heart-warming moment for Mom, as memories of Lourdes began to fill her mind. What is the chance of seeing Aunty L's email in the morning, and then hearing the song Aunty L sang during a very critical point whilst we were in Lourdes, later on the same day? 

Definitely, You were with Mom in church, she could feel that.

As the Priest celebrated Holy Mass, Mom found herself plunged into deep reflection. She wasn't exactly listening nor paying attention. She was deep in her own thoughts. 

The Mass went on with her just staring blankly at the altar, remembering You in your white long robes. During Communion, an unfamiliar song in the malay language was flashed on the wall. She could not follow the hymn. Instead her eyes had wandered to a lil bird that had flown in the church, and perched itself on top of the speakers on the wall, about 10 benches in front from where we were seated. 

Bird, did she say???

"That is not a bird, it's a sparrow." She instinctively corrected herself. 

Yes, a sparrow. She will never forget that time, some 3 years ago in school, when a 5 year old girl in her class, had pointed to the bird of the same species, during an outdoor activity one day, burst out in excitement and said, "Teacher Lynn, Teacher Lynn, LOOK - that's a sparrow."

Mom remembers how very impressed she was with the lil girl. Most kids that age, heck even adults, would have just described it, as a BIRD. However, Caitlin had identified it as a SPARROW. She smiled at the memory of it all.

Her attention was soon centered at the sparrow still perched on the speakers. It looked like it was observing the mass, its head being pointed to the altar, she observed with humor. It didn't attempt to fly around or be a pest. It stayed very quietly perched up on the speakers, minding its own business.

Anyway, the sparrow was all forgotten when it was time for our row to receive the Holy Communion. We got up and followed the queue to the altar. After receiving the Host, we returned to our seats. Guess what happened right after Communion?

A post-Communion hymn flashed on the wall. Mom could not believe her eyes when she saw the first line to the song. It read:

Your eye is on the sparrow 

Your eye is on the sparrow???

For a-split-of-a-second there, Mom felt like You had made a statement to HER. Only YOU would know about the sparrow incident. Mom had come home from school that day and bragged about the little girl in her class. And only YOU would know that she was thinking about that sparrow incident, moments before the sparrow-hymn came on. 

She has not heard of this hymn before, it's totally new to her, but she felt a very precious connection with her son at that instant, she cannot find the words to describe it.

Imagine, she's thinking about and observing the sparrow, and the next thing she knew, she's reading the lyrics, Your eye is on the sparrow. It was surreal. It was almost as if You had tapped her on her shoulder and said, "I know what you're thinking, Mom, I'm right beside You ..."


Your eye is on the sparrow
And Your hand, it comforts me
From the ends of the earth
to the depth of my heart
Let your mercy and strength be seen

She turned to look at Aunty C and thought of telling her, but decided against it. She wanted to be just - quiet and still, and savor that moment. Talking about it would spoil it somehow. It would sound ridiculous as the words tumbled out her mouth, she knew. There are some things she can share, but some are just meant for her own knowing ... a privilege between mother and son. She followed the rest of the lyrics in silence and with a renewed sense of happiness.

THE BOND. It was unmistakable.

She watched the sparrow fly away just before the Mass ended. Amazing how the sparrow knew how to make itself present in church a few minutes before the sparrow-hymn, and leave a few minutes after. The Closing Hymn came on the wall. A smile formed on her face as she saw the title.  


Why, she had posted this HAIL HOLY QUEEN video on Call 22. A really nice song from the movie SISTER ACT. At the same time, she had come across a beautiful painting of a mother and her baby, and had uploaded that photo together with the song-link on Call 22. Below the photo on Call 22, Mom had typed down the words : 

A mother holds her child for a while
and his heart for a lifetime.

Would You believe it if she told You that, upon high-lighting the 2 lines above, and clicking the text color RED, only the second line turned to red.  Tried it a few times. Even Justine came to try it. This happened in Call 30 too. 

Isn't it strange that this hick-up doesn't happen to her dinner blog? And it only happens in the face of an important message. Like in Call 30, the line that turned red was : 

"I am not there. I did not die." 

And now here, the line to pay attention to is the RED line.
Today, she knows why it was necessary for her to return back to church to attend mass on Saturday. 

Mom is so getting your messages these days, Son. Thank You for watching over the family and for staying close. :D