Saturday, December 25, 2010

Call 101 : MISSING YOU

Hello Son,

Today is Christmas Day. :D

We went to Church this morning. The mass was at 11:30am but we arrived, ah ... fashionably late. We left the house the normal time, 15 minutes before, but today, there was a massive jam on the road.

We ended up sitting outside the Church. 

On the right side.

The Church was packed today. Inside full, outside, left and right wing all full. There must be more than a thousand people that morning. 

Let's see ... 

Inside the Church, there are 4 rows of 50 bench-pews.

50 bench-pews X 4 rows = 200 pews

One pew can accommodate about 6 - 8 people.

Which means, inside the Church alone, there were about 1200 to 1600 people already. Not counting people outside.

Did You see the crowd? 

We must have been like a DOT to You from up there.

We were seated outside in a row.

From left : 

Aunty Diana, Aunty Carol, Justine, Mom and Dad.

(Grandma attended an earlier mass - none of us could get up then. :D)

The Priest was saying the homily ...

Mom was wondering what would be the message for us today. 

Shortly after, Dad whispered, 

"You heard what the Father said?"

Guiltily, Mom shook her head. 

No, she must confess she didn't hear.

She wasn't listening.

Must be some kind of attention deficit disorder that she's only realising now. This is definitely not the first time her attention had strayed. She did try to listen attentively, but after the first two lines, the words became a blur ...

A definite disorder of some kind. 

Beyond her control. Not her fault.

"Why, what did he say?" Mom whispered back.

Dad replied, 


That's a nice message for today, Mom thought. 

You must have whispered to Dad to summarize Father's message for today.

We are made for God, and we will return to God.

Hmmm ... somehow that felt somewhat comforting ...

You are made for God, and You have returned to Him. 

Having said that, Mom cannot help but wish You could have delayed your - flight, You know ...

We miss You so very much. :(

Your mother's thoughts were interrupted during Collection time. Her antennae had picked up a signal which caused her eyes to scan through the people in front. She spotted a man whom she recognized instantly. He was doing Collection on our side.

Zzzza--PPPP !!!

This man, on a few occasions, had commented to your parents that : 

"Your son is a handsome boy ..."

"Very handsome, your son ..."

"He'll grow up to be a handsome boy ..." 

You were in preschool then. Your parents could never forget this stranger even if they tried. Dad remembers him too. 

We had attended another church when You were 7, and You had served there as an Altar Boy until Jesus called You home on Jan 21, 2010, at the age of 15. 

So, we have not seen this man since, and neither has he seen us. Even if he were to see your handsome face in the papers, I - Made - It - To - Heaven page, he probably would not have any flashback, or make any connection. It was after all, some 8 to 10 years ago.

Memories flooded back ...

There was a dull, nagging ache in your mother's chest. God planted this man somewhere earlier on in our lives, so that a connection could be felt later on. She's sure of that. There's always a reason for everything.

Yes, everything ...

Like now ...

Boy, does your mother feel THE BOND right at that moment. 

Isn't it funny that he should be the one doing Collection on our side of the Church, that your parents have to see him, and instantly think of You? We could have been sitting anywhere. Had there been no jam this morning, we would have been early, and we would be seated in the Church. We would not have seen him then. There would have been no ZAP.


No ZAP on Christmas Day??? 


You gotta be kiddin'. 

Of course, there'd be a ZAP on Christmas Day. :D

Anyway ...

There was no eye contact, as a result of commendable efforts by your mother, when he offered the Collection bag at our row. Hence, no acknowledgment. 

Chicken ... 

You must have laughed, when You saw your mother avoiding his eyes. 

She has to ... had to ... what if he recognized her and later ask, 

Hi, where's your handsome son???

Oh Lord ... Not today. 

She didn't feel like she was up to giving any explanation today. The WHY and the WHAT HAPPENED would surely follow right after her explanation that You had uh, migrated, to live with Jesus and Mama Mary etc.

A recent example is, our old neighbour from the previous condo we used to live in. Mom bumped into him one day at the shops, and he had asked in greeting, 

"How's Bryan? How's your girl? And Your son? He must be very tall by now ..." he lifted his arm right up to indicate how tall.

Mom had smiled, but offered no explanation. 

Instead, she had replied with a robotic smile, 

"They are okay ..."

Which You guys are, she felt.

It sure wasn't a lie. 

Your mother just refrained from telling the truth. There is a fine line between the two. God will understand. He knows she would say that line, even before she said it. Why, God knows her better than she knows herself ...

During Communion, the man was standing right in front, about 5 rows of chairs away from us. He was standing beside the person who was giving out the communion hosts. We had to walk up to him, following the queue to the front ...

Eyes downcast, head bowed ...

Chicken, Mom ...

Your mother could almost hear You say. 

Mass ended.

We were in the car heading towards home. Half way home, Mom turned on the radio. A song was coming to an end, and the next song that came on was, would You believe it : 

I'll Be Missing You.

Gee, what a conciDANS. :D

I'll be missing You ...

OMG ...

It could have been any song that could have been totally unconnected ... but no, it had to be a song that would cause ZAP ZAP ZAP to happen in the car. :D 

The time was 1:20pm.

by Puff Daddy

Every step I take

Every move I make

Every single day

Every time I pray

I'll be missing You

Thinking of the day

When You went away

What a life to take

What a bond to break

I'll be missing You

(continue on Call 102)