Saturday, November 6, 2010

Call 48 : CANNOT DIE

Hello Son, 

Before Mom tells You what happened on Saturday today, let her refresh your memory a bit (as if your memory needs to be refreshed, huh). The day before, Friday, she wrote Call 43 : Angel Signs.

In Call 43, she had mentioned that she couldn't help but notice the ANGEL-signs on your birth certificate etc and that: 

"It was all part of God's plan, right from the start."

Then towards the end of the entry in Call 43, before the image of the ANGEL-CAT, Mom had written: 

"With your mother, You can't be subtle, because she just won't get it. You will have to give it to her as it is. Better yet, leave a white Angel's feather on her desk some day..." 

On Saturday morning today (the day after writing the Call 43) ...

Mom went to the kitchen. 

As she was opening the windows, would You believe it, but a tiny lil feather came fluttering slowly from above. 

She couldn't believe her eyes!!! 

Seeing that, she stood completely still, watching the feather slowly float in the air, in a soft zig-zag manner, gradually heading downwards and finally rested on the side top of the sink. She stared at the lil feather, greyish by the way, for several seconds, before she yelled for Justine.

Justine came and stood by the kitchen door, her face inquiring.

Picking up the feather and holding the tip ever so carefully, Mom showed Jus what just dropped in. Jus looked at the tiny feather, about an inch in length, and said:
"This is just a small one. Remember that time, You found a big one in the kitchen also, and You threw it out of the window? That one was white. It was a longer one..." 

(and your sister showed the length with her fingers, about 6 inches long).

OMG, that's right. Mom completely, completely, COMPLETELY
forgot about that. 

That was some 2 to 3 months ago. 

It is not unusual for your mother to find herself deep in her thoughts at the kitchen sink. While washing up the dishes, her mind tends to wander to the faraway clouds that are in a distance. We are on the top floor of our condo, so looking out of the window, she has direct contact with the umm, clouds. And who is on the those clouds??? Several times, she has asked You to drop her a sign, physical sign, that You are near. Of course she appreciates all the songs and coinciDANSes that remind her over and over and over again, that You are.

But how near is near? 

If only You could leave a white feather on her desk, she'd wish, or better still, try to get a strand of hair, just ONE strand will do, from JESUS and leave that on her table, she'd hope. Now THAT would be awesome, she'd know straight away that You are RIGHT HERE. 

Like harrr-low, excuse me, like - RIGHT - RIGHT - HERE!!!

Oh dear ... 

Now why did she throw that white feather out of the window? How could she? Obviously, she wasn't thinking - it must have been too early in the morning. Of course that feather would have been from a pigeon or some kind of a bird with one white feather missing, (no, not a sparrow), but the symbol it represents is significant. Mom asked, You gave.

Between Mother and Son.

Nobody's gonna understand this. She had better not tell anybody about this, apart from Dad and Jus, because she doesn't want her sanity questioned. Thinking about it now, as she is writing the entry, it does make sense that both the feathers, big and small, white and grey, choose to drop in the kitchen. It is at the kitchen sink that some of the most intimate and personal thoughts have emerged.

Washing dishes does that to You, imagine. :D

It is your mother's natural hunch that the tiny, little feather this morning must be a little reminder from her son that he HAD dropped his mother the white feather that she had asked for, before, and why was she asking for it again in Call 43? Like as if she has forgotten about it?

Umm, actually yeah ... (head bowed, eyes down cast) ... 

Mom hates to admit it but yeah, she completely forgot about that white feather. So sorry Son. It really was unusual to find that white feather at that time, because we've been living here for more than 10 years, and Mom cannot recall a time when feathers just happen to drop by and paid a surprise visit. Her reaction was automatic. She had seen it, picked it up, showed it to Jus, and then threw it out of the window. :(

She thought no more about it, until now. In fact, Jus even said right after Mom had thrown it out of the window, "Why don't You just keep it?"

Uh-oh ... too late. :(

Isn't it funny that You can wish and hope for something so badly, then when it comes, You don't even recognize it - and not only that, You THROW IT AWAY??? 

Humphhh ...

Really sorry about that, Son ... Can't believe You just sent Mom a small tiny feather this morning to remind her. :D

Then on Saturday evening ...

We were on the way to church to attend Sunset Mass at 5:30pm. Mom was driving, with Aunty C in front and Justine at the back seat. Aunty C had downloaded the song IF I DIE YOUNG on her mobile, and she had turned it on for us. So there we were singing IF I DIE YOUNG in the car. A few times. You can only think of one person when You hear this song, so no prizes for guessing who was in our thoughts right then. :D

In church, Aunty C and Jus were still meddling with their phones. Aunty C was trying to transfer the song into Justine's cellphone, apparently. The mass should be starting very soon, in a few minutes' time.

While waiting, Mom glanced through the church bulletin, that she had picked up at the entrance, and happened to read the FIRST LINE of the weekly message therein :

Human life is sacred because from its beginning, it involves "the creative action of God." "Before I formed You in the womb, I knew You, and before You were born, I consecrated You." (Jer 1:5) The life of every individual, from its very beginning, is part of GOD's plan.

Oh Wow ... 

Only the day before (Friday), she had written on Call 43:

"It was all part of God's plan, right from the start." 

Such a conciDANS. 

Did You whisper those words into Mom's ears the day before as she was writing the entry??? Mom was basking in the wonderment of it all when she was rudely interrupted by the sudden burst of the song IF I DIE YOUNG on Aunty C's cell phone. Your dear aunty must have acciDANtally clicked on some button, and because she panicked, as it was an impolite interruption in the quiet church environment, she fumbled for a few good seconds before she finally got the phone to shut-up!

Right on time though. Mass started.

Now ... what was that about???

The THEME that was flashed across the wall this evening was :


Mom keyed those words into her handphone. Why she did that, she doesn't know - perhaps You whispered to her to do so. It's not like she saw THE LIGHT, or any kind of sparks that made her want to remember the message. A mystery alright.

Anyway, as You'd probably know, Your mother doesn't normally listen very attentively to the Homily, but this time, the Priest's sermon was somewhat "lecture-like." 

He had repeated this line, obviously  THE MESSAGE, easily about 10 times throughout his 20 minute or so sermon :



The space --- is for You to count to 3, before You read on, slowly and sternly. That was how Father said it. His words were loud and clear and somewhat authoritative. And he had repeated those lines like ... like ...

Like a robot.



Mom's quite certain Father repeated that line not less than 10 times. After every 3 to 4 sentences, he would repeat THAT line. He would be like : bla bla bla, then ...



and back to bla bla bla, and then ...



and it went on in this manner, until his closing part where he said :


(don't - tell - me), and Mom mouthed the words as the Priest was stating the message :




Oh my Lord, is he good. Felt like giving him a standing ovation.

Out of the 20 minutes sermon, Mom only remembers THIS line. And THAT is the message of today. The thing is, from the start, the Priest had caught her attention when he mentioned the word GUARANTEE in the beginning of his sermon. 


That word itself was an instant connection with her son.  

(The Guarantee Story is related in your Facebook - will check on the link when time permits - which means, not likely to be in the near possible future. Much, much later.) 

And that was how Father managed to get her attention, and how he pumped that message into her head. A reassurance above a reassurance above a reassurance. Come to think of it, she's never heard a Priest repeat a line THAT many times before. 2 times maybe, 3 times is still reasonable, even 5 is okay ... but 10 times (or even more)??? There must be an Angel instructing him to do so. :D

Mom thought of the lady in the admin office who used the BAD WORD (Call 40) and wondered if she was there at mass. Maybe she was, maybe THAT's why Father had to repeat it so many times. :D Having said that, Mom KNOWS deep in her heart, THAT message is from You. The day after Mom wrote about this in Call 43, she hears a confirmation in Church.

Over and over and over. It can only be from You, Son. Your assurance to her. She can feel that.That is so your way of telling her about something important - over and over and over - until she gets it. :D

By the end of the mass, Mom was more than certain You were present with us at today. The song IF I DIE YOUNG did not burst into the air, just before mass started, for nothing. 

And then, the word GUARANTEE - that word is a major connection - it couldn't have cropped up for no reason. Of all the thousands of words in the BIBLE, Father had to say THAT Guarantee-word. 

The word that locks the hearts, minds and souls of Mother and Son together.  

Mom even wrote a poetry about that inciDAN and entitled it MY GUARANTEE.  

And the way the Father repeated the message, over and over and over and over like a broken record ... sounds like You definitely had something to do with that.

Did You tell Father to keep repeating that line???

Mom now hears your voice saying,  

"I tell You one time, You don't listen." 

(You've said this line to Mom on more than one occasion. That repeat by the Priest was definitely for Mom's benefit!:D)

OMG Son ... 

That robotic repeat was so darn effective that even when walking to the car, Mom found herself chanting in low, serious tones, and chuckling too at the same time, no doubt, to Aunty C :



That is what You really want to tell us, right Son? Mom can feel that. She really can. Honestly, she can. You're so alive, even more alive than some of us here. Grimace. And Mom knows, You're very happy at the end of the rainbow on your side. Good, that's really good to know ... Thank You for staying close, Son ... If only we could give You a big squeeze one more time ... We miss You so very much.

You know how we've always been saying, "It's God's plan, It's God's will" ... but never really understood the depth of that statement, and heck, sometimes even just saying that line with 2 pinches of salt, not really committing to it but we say it because ... we have to say something???

Well, it really really really IS God's plan. Isn't it??? 

Thank You, Jesus for dying on the cross for us, because NOW, (here it comes - Mom got your assurance alright.),