Sunday, March 4, 2012


Hello Son, 

Thursday, March 1

It was after 2 pm when Justine called to say that Dad has just picked her up from college, and whether Mom wanted to join them for a quick lunch. Mom was in school.

Mom said, "Give me a call when you're here ..." She was busy at that moment. The day care attendants were preparing the children for nap time.

So anyway, your sister called some 5 minutes later. They were here in school, already? Mom said she wasn't ready to leave yet. She told your sister to go with Dad, and tapau (take-away) for her.

However, Justine and Dad came up. They played with the kids while waiting for your mother. By the time Mom was ready to leave, it was about 20 minutes later.

We hopped into the Camry. Yeah, Camry. The school's MPV is at the workshop, remember? As Dad was turning out into the main road, guess what? 

IF I DIE YOUNG came on the radio. 

Loud and clear.

Click on title to view video.

The time was 2:50 pm. 

It wasn't a zap time, she knows, but HelloOooo ...


That's ZAP enough. Don't You think? It sure felt like You were with us in the car when the song came on. Yeah, like a family. We miss You, Son ... we really miss having You around. 

We drove to our favorite pan mee (flour noodles) coffee shop. It was only a 5 minute drive from the kindy to the coffee shop. Yet, in that brief time, we got to hear IF I DIE YOUNG ... from beginning to end.

So meant to be.


The timing was perfect. Had Mom gone down to the car when Justine called the moment they arrived, we would have missed the song. You must have whispered to them to go up to the kindy and wait for a bit.

Justine said, "VIDEO GAMES was on just now when Dad came to pick me up. It was 2:22 pm ..."

Decode : 24

This song first introduced itself to Justine and Mom while we were in the car a few weeks ago. That was the first time we heard it. Your sister was kinda hooked to the tune after that and kept on singing that "Video Games" part in low tones. 

Video Games definitely reminded us of You since that was your favorite past time activity. Justine said, the song is sung by Lana Del Ray ... and she reminded Mom that Lana was the first girl You were paired with in kindergarten to do a Western dance during your year end concert. 

See how we try to make it connect? 

You must be shaking your head, huh.

 Lana Del Ray

Two songs ...

That brought a smile to your mother's face.

Anyway ...

That evening, Dad called Mom over. He was deleting old messages in his cellphone, and came across one of your saved text. It was in 2007. You had registered online for some kind of free game or something. Dad pointed to your username and password. 

Mom peered over and read out loud.

username : purekiller88

password : darkness

In 2007 ... You were 13 years old then. 

On hindsight, those gloomy words could be reflecting your possible thoughts about your physical health then. By that age, You would have understood what a brain tumor was, and that it was more than just "water." Besides, You had undergone 4 open-brain surgeries by aged 13. You never really led on your worry, fear or anxiety to your family though.

Mom must say she felt sad seeing those words in Dad's cellphone and was reminded at one time, she saw a scribble that You made on one of your exercise books :

"I know who my enemy is ..." 

That Thursday evening, we went for our dinner nearby the condo shops. It was drizzling lightly. Dad drove to the shops, and of course we were greeted with fully-packed parking bays, with cars double parking from one end to the other. Dad stopped in front of the coffee shop that we were supposed to have our dinner at, and said, "Yall get down first ..."

We did not get down. After the flood incident the day before, we didn't feel like leaving Dad in the car alone, in the rain, eventhough it was just a light drizzle. 

Dad was like, "Go down la ..."

The next thing we knew, a man appeared from God knows where, to remove his car that was by the side of our car. This is in front of the coffee shop, and our car was in fact in the way of that vehicle coming out of its bay.

Mom said with a happy grin, "Son says, park here, Dad ..." :D

Gosh that was surreal. The driver in the car that was in the bay right by where our car had stopped, drove out. Oh Boy ... How perfect.

Thanks for that, Son ... That was awesome. You know, we were so overwhelmed we forgot to check that vehicle's registration number.

Still, we couldn't stop talking about it while waiting for our food to arrive.


Later at home ...


Mom found herself at the computer, googling videos by ENYA

Your mother finds ENYA's songs always haunting and for some reason, that day, she felt like she had to listen to the singer's soul-penetrating music. She checked a few videos before coming across one that caught her attention. 

The title was somewhat mysterious, she has to admit. If she didn't know better, she would have said that the thumbnail video was beckoning her to click on it.

And so she did ...


Lord of the Rings

As she was viewing the video, she thought at one part, she heard the word "darkness."

Time stood still for two seconds.



As in your password - darknesss?

Did she hear right?

Mom googled the lyrics of the song.

click on title to view video

May it be an evening star
Shines down upon you
May it be when darkness falls
Your heart will be true
You walk a lonely road
Oh! How far You are from home

Mornie utulie (Darkness has come)

Believe and you will find your way
Mornie alantie (Darkness has fallen)
A promise lives within You now

May it be the shadow's call

Will fly away
May it be your journey on
To light the day
When the night is overcome
You may rise to find the sun (Son)

Oh Gee Wow Son ... 

What a song ... How deep are the lyrics. You walk a lonely road. How far You are from home. Darkness has come (presumably to your family). Believe and You will find your way (to Jesus). Darkness has fallen. A promise lives within You now.

Yeah, God's promise of eternal life.

When the night is overcome, You may rise to find the Son (and You have, we know this to be true).

Oh Boy ... what a song. It totally describes your mother's emotions at that time. What with the darkness and all ...

After that video, Mom saw a thumbnail video of  


Your mother has not heard of this song before, but it sure felt like it was a good idea to listen to the song.

Today My Life Begins ...

That particular video that she clicked on, had the name Jaeson Ma right at the end of it. That zapped her. OMG. 

Jaeson Ma???

As in : Jason, Ma ...

Like ...

Me, Ma ... :D

Unfortunately, Mom is not able to find that video at the time of writing this entry. The reception is not so great and downloading videos take a while ... so she's gonna take it that, that message was for her at that moment that night ... Yeah, after all the darkness ... she was meant to hear the song : Today My Life Begins.

Bruno Mars

What a great song, this is Daniel. 

For You, for Mom, for Dad, for Justine ... 


Merlin is on now. :D Mom's gonna logged off now and watch Merlin for a bit before dinner. Keep the zaps coming, kay ... and stay close always.

We love You, Son ... <3